It is embarrassing to admit but it was only in July 2008, when I went to Vsp for CJ's "samvatsareekalu", that I came to know that the wedding anniversary of CSM & CJ falls on Feb 28. It was deeply touching to see the well preserved and elegantly framed invitation card for their marriage in 1945. I was 5-odd years old at that time, and my memory of the event is scant barring the new clothes we all got for the occasion.
Couples living together for 50-plus years must be a tiny minority. Among them, those with siblings who cherish and treasure the memory of the time they spent with their parents must be rarer still. This by itself is sufficient to regard CSM & CJ as a blessed couple. Ailments/disabilities in the evening of one's life are only to be expected, and they were no exception to this norm. But their sufferings were greatly alleviated by the constant and competent care taken by Ravi, amply complemented by the love and affection showered on them by all the children alike. That all the siblings have given a good account of themselves in their chosen fields must have been a cause for immense satisfaction for them.
CSM was responsible for a crucial turning point in my academic career. In the summer of 1955, I was readying myself to join a graduate course at the local college at Eluru, having narrowly missed getting admission to the engineering college at Kakinada (the only such college in Andhra at that time). Just at that time CSM & family arrived at our house for a brief stay on their way to Vsp where CSM had been tansferred from Pune. Joining BA (Hons) at the Andhra University was not an option my father was willing to consiider. But, with CSM supporting my plea and offering to take me along, my father relented. It was not mere generosity, it required a lot of confidence to make that offer, because at that time CJ was just convalescing after an attack of TB at Pune and, far from being able to handlie any household work, was in need of attention herself.
CSM not merely took me along to Vsp but had a major role to play in my admission to Hons. By the time we reached Vsp, the university admissions had virtually drawn to a close. V. Ramaswamy, the highly regarded but eccentric professor who headed the dept of maths, which I was keen on joining, had a reputation for being the antithesis of affable. Undaunted, however, CSM confidently took me along to the professor's house one morning and requested him to give me a seat in the Hons course, offering as good an explanation as he could for the delay in seeking admission.
Prof. Ramaswamy was unforgiving in respect of students who opted for Hons only after failing to get admission to engineering, though that was just the case with most students at that time. So, he mockingly enquired if it was only a stop-gap arrangement till I got a seat in engineering through subsequent efforts. CSM, as my local guardian, assured the stern-looking professor that my interest in maths was genuine (a fact, incidentally) and there was no question of my deserting maths for engineering later. As my marks were good enough anyway, the professor then grudgingly granted me admission. For the record, shortly thereafter a new engineering college opened at the varsity, where I could have easily got admission on merit, but I willingly honoured that assurance. Looking back, it is amazing that I could take that decision myself without consulting either CSM or my father: it appeared self-evident to me that assurances were meant to be honoured.
But, more than anything else, I remember CSM as my spiritual guru. His theist bent of mind at that time or later day conversion to agnosticism (as I believe) is of no relevance to me. Spirituality, according to me, consists in one's values and attitude towards life and society. CSM was nothing if not an embodiement of the spirit of detachment, which has a lasting appeal to me. From this followed, as natural corollaries, other virtues such as equanimity, compassion and generosity.
As for my sister CJ, though she was only 11 years older than I, she treated me more like a son. As Cub went off to Korukonda at an early age, I seemed to have filled in that gap in a way, generously helping myself to my share of her motherly love and affection. I do not know how she used to manage the assorted household chores, but she would pack lunch for me daily as she did for CSM. I cannot recall if I tried to share at least part of her workload, and this is one of my several regrets in retrospect.
Despite her ailments in the later years, she never lost her zest for life. Her second trip to US mainly to see Lakshmi's newly constructed house (kudos to RP for havinng taken the trouble and being bold enough to take such an elderly person along with him), and her flying visit to Hyderabad to attend Bujji's marriage in 2002, despite not being in the best of health, bear this out amply. Maybe that was what kept her going till the end, apart from the excellent care provided by Ravi.
